66 Things a Culchie Loves

A culchie: Person from Rural Ireland. Plays and watches Gaelic Football, but does support a Soccer team (mainly United or Celtic). Drinks whiskey and poitín and listens Mid Whest Radio or Traditional Irish Music (mainly the Wolfe Tones).

1 A nice bit of ham.

2 Butthered biscuits.

3 Diggin Houles.

4 Saying its too cowld to snow

5 Pretending to know about The Ra.

6 Taytos Cheese & Onion

7 Pretending they’re in The Ra.

8 A long stretch in the evenings

9 Lucozade

10 Accordians

11 Pretending to like Holy Week.

12 A dinner dance

13 Gettin clatthered in muck.

14 Shania Twain.

15 Hefers

16 Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual

17 Steel toe caps.

18 A big bowl of carrots & parshnips.

19 Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA

20 Saying someones ‘Opened a Book’ on something.

21 The smell of fresh cow shite.

22 Slice-Your-Own Loaf, oooh the Bloooomer

23 Work Clothes

24 A bottle of mineral.

25 Fightin’.

26 Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered

27 ‘The’ Hurling/Fitball.

28 Being overweight.

29 Weemin wha resemble Hefers.

30 Saying “Aaah” after taking their first sup of tae.

31 Drink driving.

32 Red diesel

33 The Fear of Change.

34 A nice bit of Barnbrac

35 Lying.

36 Building walls.

37 Being starved with the cowld rather than with a lack of food

38 Pretending to like mass

39 Talking about stuff like Flax and the Corncrake.

40 A good blackthorn walkin shtick.

41 Shouting ‘Yeeeeeoooo’ when something good happens.

42 Mohammed Ali.

43 Machinery.

44 Strange uppy-downy walks.

45 A day out with soup, sangwiches and whiskey (preferably either a funeral or a chrisht’nin

46 Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.

47 Shcandal, as long as its about other people.

48 Turf, because Sentirl heatin’s for weemin.

49 Soda farls.

50 Sponge ‘n Custirt

51 Newmerica’, and anything to do with it.

52 Givin the dog the wildest baytins.

53 Givin the wife the wildest baytins.

54 The Ra.

55 Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.

56 Wrecking the house whilst steaming.

57 Fanta

58 Rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner

59 The Foot & Mouth.

60 Aetin’ a big feed of shpuds.

61 TK Red Lemonade

62 The Bog

63 Goin to mass in a massey 570

64 A nice auld singsong

65 A good bleddy read of Irelands Own, cos there’s great raydin in it

66 A good wake

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