Being Irish is…

Being Irish is about driving in a German car to an Scottish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or, a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most Irish thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Ireland can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Ireland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Ireland do people order double cheeseburgers, large chips and a DIET coke.

Only in Ireland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Ireland do we leave cars worth thousands of euros on the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the shed.

Only in Ireland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Ireland are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.


3 Irish people die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Irish people were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Irish people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Irish people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Irish people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

Irish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.

18 Irish people had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Irish people were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Irish people were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

and finally…

In 2000 eight Irish people were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

IRELAND – Love it, or Leave it!

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