Archive for October, 2007

Culchie Dictionary

A- Arseways = Mishmash, total mess
B- Bang On = Correct, perfect
Banjaxed = Broken, severely damaged
Bogger = A person of rural extraction
Boyo = Male juvenile
Brutal = Awful, terrible
Bjore = Cork term for woman
C- Close = the air is humid
Craic = Fun
Culchie = A person whos birthplace is beyond Dublin city limits
D- Deadly = Great, brilliant, fantastic
Doss = Failure to attend school/work during specified hours
Dry Yoke = Someone of limited social skills
E- Eat the head off = To complain about in an aggressive manner
Eejit = Person of limited mental capacity
F- Fair Play! = Well done!
Feck Off = You are not serious
Fiek = North Mayo term for a good looking male
Fierce = Very, extremely
Fine Thing = Attractive man or woman
Full Shilling(not the) = Mentally challenged
G- Gaf = Home
Gee-eyed = Having partaken of large quantity of alcohol
Get off with = Be successful with a romantic advance
Go on out of dat! = I am not in agreement with your suggestion (Dublin Vernacular)
Gobsheen: Person of below average IQ
Gurrier = Hooligan
H- Hang Sangwich = A fine Sandwich
Heavy Close = the air is quite humid
Hop = Play truant from school
Howaya = Hello, hi, literally: How are you
J- Jackeen = A rural persons name for a dubliner
Jackmahoney = A rural persons slang term for a kinsman (can be an insult)
Jack = Version of Jackmahoney, used when time is short
Jacks = Toilet
Jammers = Extremely crowded
Janey Mack = expression of utter disbelief
Jo Maxi = Taxi
K- Kip = A dump (relating to one’s abode)
Knackered = Very tired
L- Langer = of Cork origin. Various meanings: Eejit, one’s close compatriot, love term, insult, term for the male genital organ
Lash = to rain heavily/attractive woman
Leg It = To flee rapidly
Luder = Culchie term for someone being an ass
Lúdramán = Irish Gaeilge term for Luder
M- Mankey = Filthy, disgusting
Mill = Publin brawl
Mitch = To play truant
Mot = Girlfriend
N- Nip = Nude
O- Omadhán = Irish Gailge term for Eejit
Oul’wan = Mother
Oul’fella = Father
P- Paralytic = So over the alcohol limit one passes out
Plastered = Very drunk
Puss = sulky face
S- Scanger = Chav from Dublin (north)
Scarlet = Embarrassed, blushing
Scratcher = Bed
Scrubber = Woman of little sophistication
Sham = Gypsy from Galway
Shattered = Very tired, requiring sleep
Shhtate of you = You don’t look well
Shhtuff for ya = You deserved that
Slag = Make fun of
Slapper = Female of low morals and poor taste in clothing
T- Thick = Extremely stupid
W- Wagon = Unattractive woman
Wahu = North Mayo slang term for Hello
Wrecked = Extremely tired /ugly
Y Yer wun = Female whose name is unknown
Yar wa?! = Alleged method of proposing to ones sweetheart on Dublins northside

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Culchie Phrasebook

The Culchie Phrase-Book. It is believed this originated in the
west of Ireland. Particularly Mayo and Galway and a little from Tipperary.

The following is a list of words and phrases that can often be heard
in Culchiedom :

Eeejit :
Somebody less intelligent than oneself. i.e. a
complete fool altogether

G’wan ta feck autt a dat:
Please go away

A shlap in the face of a brick:
To be struck square in the face with a brick

A soft day :
Miserable weather

Hardy man :

Someone who can survive waking up buck naked in
filthy ditch water on January the first after a year long drinking session

Machine :
General purpose term used to refer to any man made implement more advanced than a pitch fork

Hang sangwich :
Salty ham surrounded by two slices stale brown bread. A buffer of cheap margarine, preferably Blue-Band (half inch thick) must separate the ham from the bread. A top class hang sangwige
will of course contain a sprinkling of sand.

A paka ha tayho :
A bag of crisps

Finches, ave’u the :
Have you the Finches orange soda

Girleen:
Any girl an older man would like to get his leg over.

Land Rover :
Usually a ford escort van that has seen better days.

Mighty :
Indicative of something being very good

Craic :
fun, as in Mighty Craic or The Craic was Mighty

Locked :
very drunk

After a few shcoops :
reasonably drunk

Flahed :
a state of extreme exhaution, usually brought on by
consecutive locked nights

Fien :
Man whose name is unknown, or unremembered at the present time.

Fine piece of shtuff :
used to describe a person considered attractive.

Yoke :
Just about anything whose proper description doesn’t spring to mind

Fierce :
It is, yes.

Gobsheen:
Someone very high in the “Eeejit” stakes but will
generally be a tourist or perhaps from Dublin.

Yoke-m-abus :
Any form of motorised transport

An onmercifull fay-ad :
A very large Sunday dinner

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Being Irish is…

Being Irish is about driving in a German car to an Scottish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or, a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most Irish thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Ireland can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Ireland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Ireland do people order double cheeseburgers, large chips and a DIET coke.

Only in Ireland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Ireland do we leave cars worth thousands of euros on the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the shed.

Only in Ireland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Ireland are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION..

3 Irish people die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Irish people were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Irish people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Irish people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Irish people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

Irish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.

18 Irish people had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Irish people were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Irish people were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

and finally…

In 2000 eight Irish people were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

IRELAND – Love it, or Leave it!

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66 Things a Culchie Loves

A culchie: Person from Rural Ireland. Plays and watches Gaelic Football, but does support a Soccer team (mainly United or Celtic). Drinks whiskey and poitín and listens Mid Whest Radio or Traditional Irish Music (mainly the Wolfe Tones).

1 A nice bit of ham.

2 Butthered biscuits.

3 Diggin Houles.

4 Saying its too cowld to snow

5 Pretending to know about The Ra.

6 Taytos Cheese & Onion

7 Pretending they’re in The Ra.

8 A long stretch in the evenings

9 Lucozade

10 Accordians

11 Pretending to like Holy Week.

12 A dinner dance

13 Gettin clatthered in muck.

14 Shania Twain.

15 Hefers

16 Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual

17 Steel toe caps.

18 A big bowl of carrots & parshnips.

19 Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA

20 Saying someones ‘Opened a Book’ on something.

21 The smell of fresh cow shite.

22 Slice-Your-Own Loaf, oooh the Bloooomer

23 Work Clothes

24 A bottle of mineral.

25 Fightin’.

26 Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered

27 ‘The’ Hurling/Fitball.

28 Being overweight.

29 Weemin wha resemble Hefers.

30 Saying “Aaah” after taking their first sup of tae.

31 Drink driving.

32 Red diesel

33 The Fear of Change.

34 A nice bit of Barnbrac

35 Lying.

36 Building walls.

37 Being starved with the cowld rather than with a lack of food

38 Pretending to like mass

39 Talking about stuff like Flax and the Corncrake.

40 A good blackthorn walkin shtick.

41 Shouting ‘Yeeeeeoooo’ when something good happens.

42 Mohammed Ali.

43 Machinery.

44 Strange uppy-downy walks.

45 A day out with soup, sangwiches and whiskey (preferably either a funeral or a chrisht’nin

46 Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.

47 Shcandal, as long as its about other people.

48 Turf, because Sentirl heatin’s for weemin.

49 Soda farls.

50 Sponge ‘n Custirt

51 Newmerica’, and anything to do with it.

52 Givin the dog the wildest baytins.

53 Givin the wife the wildest baytins.

54 The Ra.

55 Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.

56 Wrecking the house whilst steaming.

57 Fanta

58 Rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner

59 The Foot & Mouth.

60 Aetin’ a big feed of shpuds.

61 TK Red Lemonade

62 The Bog

63 Goin to mass in a massey 570

64 A nice auld singsong

65 A good bleddy read of Irelands Own, cos there’s great raydin in it

66 A good wake

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