A Dog’s Oath

1. I will not play tug-of-war with Daddy’s underwear when he’s on the can.

2. I will remember that the bin collectors are NOT stealing our stuff.

3. I will not suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.

4. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

5. I will shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

6. I will not eat the cat’s food, before, during or after, she eats it.

7. I will stop trying to find new places on the carpet when I am about to throw up.

8. I will not throw up in the car.

9. I will not roll on dead things.

10. I will stop considering the cat’s litter box as a cookie jar.

11. I will not wake up Mommy by putting my cold, wet nose on her face.

12 . I will not chew toothbrushes and not tell anyone about it.

13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, my people will think that I am haemorrhaging.

14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.

15. I do not need to tear out a room when someone is exiting, thus reducing the risk of knocking them over.

16. We do not have a doorbell. Therefore, I will not bark each time I hear one on the television.

17. I will not steal my Mommy’s underwear out of the laundry basket and then dance all over the back yard with them.

18. I will remember the sofa is not a face towel and neither are Mommy’s & Daddy’s laps.

19. I will remember my head does not belong in the refrigerator.

20. I will not bite the policeman’s hand when he reaches in for Mommy’s driver’s license.

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