Archive for the ‘Internet’ Category

The Republic of ‘Their’-Land

In a country where the majority of the population feel it is acceptable to lie on a tax form, claim an relief or benefit that they are not entitled to or draw a government welfare aid while they are working (and often earning more money than the dole they are stealing), it is not surprising then that the government itself is rather corrupt. In fact a lot of people would do at least one of the above as their way of getting back at the government.

Before going to University I applied for a government grant to which I was entitled to. I received at 3/4 allowance and this was fine as the means test results found that I was not dirt poor but could still do with a little help in paying for my college fees. However, when my father was filling out his part of the form, someone he knew (who shall remain nameless) informed him that if he simply “didn’t” put this or that down on the form, then I could avail of a 100% grant – thankfully my father seen this as being dishonest and ignored the advice. But that is the problem – the Irish people (and yes I am generalizing) are constantly looking for ways to cheat an already fraudulent administration.

Take this for an example (from the Irish Examiner dated April 20th 2010) – a mother-of-seven jailed for two months in Cork. Fair enough you might say, she must have committed some sort of a crime. The crime that she in fact committed was selling roses in Cork city centre. Say WHAT! I don’t know the full story but I can guess that she certainly wasn’t earning upwards on 200K and selling roses was only a hobby.

But what does our fine Taoiseach care? At one stage he was earning more than the US President. He would have been unavailable for comment anyway as he was away on his Easter break – the poor guy needed a holiday what with all the pressure and strain of trying to run a country. Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny has claimed that Cowen and Fianna Fáil are involved in a continuing “cover-up” of dealings at Anglo Irish Bank – read more here.

And this is the main problem – when the stewards of the country are bailing out the richest, for want of a better word (and there are many), twirps in the country and standing by them – how can this little nation move forward? These politicians, bankers and developers have sucked all the goodness out of the country and tossed us into the trash, and yet these criminals will never see the inside of a jail – unlike our rose-seller. Where is the justice even when it is our tax cents that is lining the pockets of these bankers (to bail them out and ensure they have a nice pension) and yet these same reprobates turn around and tell us “no you cannot have a mortgage, don’t be silly”.

I’m sorry but there is no longer an ‘Our’-Land – there is only a ‘Their-Land’.

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Social Internet Etiquette

  • Do not talk about Myspace. Ever.
  • Unless the conversation goes: “Hey, do you remember Myspace?”      “No.”
  • Or you’re checking out how many hits your awesome band has.

  • If it’s one of your Facebook friends’, friends’, friends’, friends’, friends’, friends’ birthday, and you don’t write happy birthday on their wall, then you should reconsider the friendship.
  • “Maybe Attending” is nicer than saying “Not Attending”.
  • It is your responsibility as their Facebook friend to tag them in any photo they appear in, no matter how far in the distance they are or how big a part of their body is shown – unless they look decent. Then the aforementioned responsibility forfeits.
  • You need to join every group that makes you say “oh yeaaahhh” when you read the group title.
  • You must become a lowly farmer on Farmville and rise through the ranks to Master Farmer.

  • If you can say it in less than 140 characters it’s probably not that interesting – just tweet it.
  • You should be followed by at least one Eastern-European female who links to malicious websites. If this isn’t the case you are doing something wrong.
  • You should always aim to have more followers than you are following, as it is this ratio that determines your coolness.
  • You should follow famous people and believe in your heart that the famous person is personally replying to you and not some random douche or aide.

  • Unfortunately the social norms of AOL were lost when the great library in Alexandria was set on fire in 48 B.C. Which, coincidentally, is also around the time you should have stopped using AOL.

  • If you are going to upload videos, vlogging is mandatory.
  • Every video deserves 5 stars – even if you didn’t like it. A lot of work went into these videos, and the maker may return the rating when he/she sees your video uploads.
  • If you upload a video, it is important to post a response to the video a week later.

  • You must be no older than 15
  • Every known application must be added to your page or else no one will bother to look
  • You must receive love on a daily basis from each friend or people will know that you are not popular
  • There are over 10,000 “what kind of a” quizzes available and each must be filled out to determine what kind of a dancer/shoe/cable you are.